I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
