I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
