he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
