He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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