This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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