He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
These tits shall not be calmed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
