I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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