just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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