Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
