Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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