Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
this is an emotional support booty call
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
