Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
