A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize