ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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