So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
