I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Drunk is not a location!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
