just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
