I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
