I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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