I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
