As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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