I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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