so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
