I CAN MOONWALK!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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