I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
