i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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