We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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