Yo dont text me then not text me
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
