People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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