Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
4 words: hood of his car
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
