But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
