im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
