Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
