Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
