I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i would punch a child for taco bell
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
