Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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