I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize