So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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