I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
