I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
