the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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