I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
