he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
