I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That accounts for only three of the penises
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
