I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
