Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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