She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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