Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my vagina is haunted
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
