I think I am morally bankrupt
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
