as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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