Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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