Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
