i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
