Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
