Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
