Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
