Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
