almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i think my cat just said my name.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
