please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
