If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
