Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
