you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We just shotgunned beers for America
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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