The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
