how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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