WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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