If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize